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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I know college is supposed to be the time in your life where you open your mind to new things and such but I'm finding it very hard to do here. The people are so different from how I'm used to, and the absence of classes until thursday leaves everyone with nothing to do but socialize. I'm a pretty social person myself, but sometimes I just feel like getting in my bed and spending the night catching up on internet news or reading, you know? but here there's something to do 24/7 and I feel like if I don't join in I'll be branded as some sort of antisocial loser. The fact that I haven't found anyone yet I really click with also leaves me feeling alone a lot. You know how they say you can feel alone in a crowded room? I sort of feel like that. It makes me just want to go back home this weekend, but I'm not going to because my floor is going to have a bunch of activities and I should probably do them. Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions of doing something but not really there at all? I'm supposed to be happy right now and I'm really trying. But here my personality feels stifled and I can't help but fall back to the doubts I've been having all summer about if I made the right choice. I'm sorry for this post being so depressing but I thought it might be better to write what I actually feel than sugar coating it and not telling everyone the truth.

Labels: Ashton

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